Today we had an epiphany; our daughter is a dark lord of the sith that is manipulating us through the baby force. How can we possibly know this? Simple, she rules over us with a baby sized thumb. We must react to her every whim or she makes sure to let us know we have failed her. The evil eye is a staple when she is in her swing and we are not holding her. We can tell she is plotting her revenge.
Since we determine she is a sith lord, we felt it appropriate to determine what her name should be. Darth Baby was lacking. Then we noticed, that her head movements resemble a chicken. She darts left and right, up and down and a whim. All her head movement is jittery and random. However, we can see that her force powers are giving her incredible precision when she stops using her head. For this reason we have named her Darth Chicken.
Danielle and I are doing all we can to bring her to the light side of the force, but we have some work to do. Hopefully the scripture reading in the morning we bring her to the right side before she is a teenager. If not, I fear she will be lost to the dark side forever.
Pray for us.
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